Mortgage rates are soaring up to 8%! If you’re not planning to buy a new home, you might be saying “Who cares?” Or you might be gloating a little bit (like I am) thinking, “Wow, I’m so glad I got my mortgage when the rates were low. It’s proof that I’m just brilliant!” But for people who are getting divorced, the rise in mortgage rates has some very real – and sometimes difficult – consequences. Why? The conversation about what … read more »
How to Win at Divorce (and Life) … IMHO
A few weeks ago, I attended an online conference called “How to Win At Divorce.” This seemed like a strange proposition. After all, what does it mean to “win” at divorce?? Honestly, I thought the presentations would all be about how to get as much out of your ex as possible, positioning them as the enemy. Thankfully, that’s not what they did. But it made me really think about the question. (Ok, I just asked Chat GPT how to win … read more »
The Fight!
My CUNY Law students had a fight in class last week. 😡 We were talking about a case that’s before the Supreme Court challenging the Indian Child Welfare Act (more about that another time) and one of the students brought up a case that’s been in the news of a US soldier who abducted an Afghani baby girl. Another student said, “There’s an argument to be made that a girl will have a better upbringing in the US than in … read more »
If your spouse is a louse…
If your spouse is a louse I’ll get you the house. That Dr. Seuss-like saying was the on the business card of a litigator I met at my first training on collaborative law. While his card was memorable (that was over 16 years ago), alas, his name was not. (I just googled the saying to see if I could find his name and came up with a lot of information about head lice. Hah.) That little diddy is funny, but … read more »
Compassionate lawyer??? Wha??
Compassionate lawyer??? Doesn’t that sound like an oxymoron? How do those 2 words go together? I’m learning about branding. That is my new tag. OK, let’s take a step back. In one of my past lives, when I was young and was trying to figure out how to make a positive impact on the world, I studied world religions in the Masters program at Harvard Divinity School. Although it was an amazing experience in many ways, I couldn’t figure out … read more »
PS – Thanks for the Invitation!
I’ve taken to watching TikTok videos to wind down before I go to sleep. I love the music and the stupid dad jokes and the dancing and the cute dog videos (have you seen scruffabella?). But I’ve also started watching Cory Booker, who shares stories about kindness and compassion after his morning run. This video is about 9 seconds. It’s for those among us who are confronted by people who get on our last nerve. For those who spend time … read more »
Did Will Smith have an amygdala hijack?
That is what psychologist Daniel Goleman has described as the fight or flight response. The amygdala, a tiny almond shaped structure in our brains, sometimes acts almost reflexively. When a lion is after you, the theory goes, you don’t have time to make a thoughtful, considered decision. It’s time to go! Chris Rock was not a lion – and Will Smith wasn’t in physical danger. But Will Smith obviously felt so threatened that he had to do something about it … read more »
Lawyers Make Things Worse!
“Lawyers make things worse!” I sometimes say to my clients. “They can take people who are this far apart,” I say with my hands about 4 inches away from each other, “and make them this far apart by the time they’re through!” continuing with my hands still facing each other but my arms stretched about 3 feet away. This may seem like blasphemy coming from a lawyer! And I mean no disrespect to my colleagues – but it’s part of … read more »
You Might Have more in Common with Bill and Melinda Than You Think…
Bill and Melinda Gates recently announced that they are divorcing after 27 years. Besides having to address their billions of dollars and their enormously influential foundation, this has brought attention to issues of a mature (or “gray”) divorce. Like many other couples, they waited until their youngest child is about to go off on her own. And they, like so many others, have to plan for a very different future. Divorcing later in life comes up more often than you … read more »
Layers of Sound
I have been meditating for a few years, and was part of a workshop recently where the facilitator had us listen to “layers of sound.” I didn’t understand what she was talking about at first. It sounded a little mysterious, and a little woo woo…. But I decided to try what she was asking. And it’s not hard – I’ll show you. (This is an interactive blog post!) Listen – right now – first, to the sounds that are farthest … read more »
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