Bill and Melinda Gates recently announced that they are divorcing after 27 years. Besides having to address their billions of dollars and their enormously influential foundation, this has brought attention to issues of a mature (or “gray”) divorce. Like many other couples, they waited until their youngest child is about to go off on her own. And they, like so many others, have to plan for a very different future. Divorcing later in life comes up more often than you … read more »
Remember to update your documents!
Many people prepare financial statements in the process of getting divorced. This is a good time to look at all of your accounts, and to update your beneficiaries. After all, you might not want your ex to receive an unexpected gain in several years because you never got around to it. Common accounts that have beneficiary designations include: Life Insurance Retirement and IRA accounts Some brokerage or savings accounts It is also a good time to update your estate planning … read more »
We’re quoted in Smart Money!
Well, this doesn’t happen every day! We’re quoted in Smart Money – a national magazine published by the Wall Street Journal. I had quite a long talk with the reporter, Glenn Ruffenbach. He just used one idea from our discussion, but it is an important one – that disputes between siblings is a bit different because they don’t often have the opportunity (or the experience) to work on problem-solving together. While other articles have focused on what elder mediation is, … read more »
Overlooking the Sea
I have spent the last week alone with my parents in their summer home in Cape Cod. It is hard to get around without driving here, and my brother and I decided that it would be better if one of us was here to do most of the driving. And so I packed up my office (thank you, Dropbox!), brought my laptop, ordered some books, and prepared to be here for 2 weeks straight – something I haven’t done since … read more »
Elder Decisions
My mediation partner, Jane Ginsberg, PsyD, and I, led two workshops on Cape Cod this week regarding elder decisions. Both workshops were well attended, both by caregivers and by elders themselves. I was amazed to see how quickly people opened up to us and to each other. Some of their concerns were logistical – for instance, about where they might live, or whether they should still drive. There were also concerns about being lonely, and about the ongoing grief of … read more »
The Sandwich Generation – How Not To Get Smushed
Last time I wrote about my Smith College reunion. Well, another classmate and I led a workshop together about caregiving for our elderly parents. We talked about the challenges that face many of our generation – we love our parents and feel responsible, but have other demands on our lives (work, children, relationships). There were a couple of themes that emerged: How do we set boundaries? Should we move our parents near us, or should we move near them? How … read more »
The Next 10 – or 20 – or 30 Years
I went to my {gulp} 30th Smith College reunion last weekend (OK, I’ll upload a photo separately). Jill Ker Conway spoke to our class — she’d been president of the college when we were there. She said that we should not look forward to retiring at the age of 62, or 65 — those numbers were established as retirement age when the life expectancy was about 68. But now the life expectancy is much longer – and we should expect … read more »