I have been meditating for a few years, and was part of a workshop recently where the facilitator had us listen to “layers of sound.” I didn’t understand what she was talking about at first. It sounded a little mysterious, and a little woo woo…. But I decided to try what she was asking. And it’s not hard – I’ll show you. (This is an interactive blog post!) Listen – right now – first, to the sounds that are farthest … read more »
As I Live and Breathe…
In early February, before the whole world turned upside-down, I traveled to a tiny village on the Pacific coast of Mexico to attend an intensive, week-long training for conflict resolution professionals from around the world. Led by master trainer Gary Friedman of the Center for Understanding in Conflict and Zoketsu Norman Fischer of the Everyday Zen Center, the program was called Inside Out: Conflict and Compassion. We were there to look deeply at our reactions to the conflicts we witness … read more »
We Hear What We Want to Hear!
But how did you flunk the test? We studied together! I know you were prepared!” Katie and I were study buddies during our first semester in law school. I had no idea what to expect on the exam, and I had been worried. But Katie had been so confident. She and I had gone over all of the cases for our Constitutional Law class, which focused on the civil rights cases. She knew the facts, the holdings and reasoning that … read more »
Love in the Time of Coronavirus
Coronavirus is showing us how incredibly connected we ALL are. Who knew that we are only six degrees of separation from the good people of Wuhan, China? Or that Italy, South Korea, Japan and Iran are actually neighbors? We are all, actually, so close. And, of course, we are learning that the virus does not seem to care who is rich or poor, what race or religion we are, who we love or what we believe. What matters is that … read more »
Promises, Promises
The Oscar-nominated film, Marriage Story, by Noah Baumbach, is really a divorce story. It centers on the relationships between Nicole, an actor, her husband, Charlie, a Broadway director, and their eight-year-old son, Henry. The family lives together in Brooklyn until Nicole gets a job on a TV series in Los Angeles – and moves to LA with Henry. From Nicole’s perspective, she and Charlie had a deal that, someday, they would move to Los Angeles, which is where she grew … read more »
… And the wisdom to know the difference
At the start of this new year and this new decade, it seems like a good time to take a self-assessment and to think about my goals for the new year. I am asking myself, “What can I change in my life, and what can’t I?” Then I ask, “What do I want to change so I can meet my goals?” There are so many things that we cannot change — for instance, we cannot change the things that happened … read more »
Being a Guide
This weekend, I saw the movie, Harriet, a riveting film about Harriet Tubman. We know the basics of the story — that she not only escaped slavery herself but kept going back down south, facing incredible danger, to help others make the journey to freedom. But seeing her life enacted onscreen (albeit a Hollywood version) gives the viewer a visceral sense of what it looked and felt like — I was riveted the whole time and went back to see … read more »
Off to a Good Start
After my beautiful, slow and plodding dog, Riley, died last summer, I had to come up with a new routine. No longer tied to our wonderful morning walk in the park, I wanted to try something new. Like those walks, it had to be contemplative and beautiful and put me in touch with nature. So almost every morning for the last year or so, I’ve been meditating for 15 minutes or so upon waking up, using the Headspace app on … read more »
Facing Your ‘Other’
When I mediate, I am sometimes struck by the fact that our lives can be profoundly affected by the actions of others. It can be frustrating to think about our lives being out of our control. I am happier when I focus on what we can control — particularly our own thoughts, our attitudes, and our actions. Of course, change is difficult, but certainly possible. I have used my thoughts and actions at critical points to change the course … read more »
The Power of Dignity
A few months ago, I had the pleasure of giving a Continuing Legal Education presentation on the Dignity Model with attorney-mediator colleagues Teresa Calabrese and Andrea Hirshman. Here is a clip from it, where I am talking about the concept that we ALWAYS have dignity — no one can take it away, no matter how badly they treat us. It is an important part of negotiation— you have to honor your own self-worth before you can honor that in others. … read more »