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7 Tips for Parents Talking to the Kids About Divorce or Separation

May 6, 2022 By Joy Rosenthal

I’ve recently been helping some parents think through how and when to talk to their children about their divorce.  Here are some tips I’ve come up with – it’s based on years of reading and working with parents. –  please share it with your spouse! 7 Tips for Parents Talking to Kids About Divorce or Separation Plan. Talk with your spouse first and plan out how and when you are going to have this talk.  Your children will remember this … read more »

Filed Under: Children, Divorce, Families, General

The New York City Family Courts are Clogged Worse Than the BQE at Rush Hour

February 26, 2022 By Joy Rosenthal

I filed two uncontested divorces in early February 2021 in Manhattan Supreme Court, and neither of them have been signed yet.  That is nearly 13 months. It is stressful for my clients, and has a real economic impact, because they cannot transfer or access their retirement accounts until their judgment of divorce is signed. — But that is nothing compared to what is going on in Family Court.  I worked in the Family Courts for 10 years before I became … read more »

Filed Under: Children, Cultural Competence, Divorce, General

Working with Financial Neutrals 

October 18, 2021 By Joy Rosenthal

One of the hardest problems that a divorcing couple may face is how to divide up marital property.   Each spouse makes a list of everything they own and everything they owe. This is called a Net Worth Statement. Then the court – or the spouses – must decide which property is separate (which that spouse will keep) and which is marital (or joint) and will have to get divided.    As you can imagine, this can be emotional, and may be a … read more »

Filed Under: Divorce, General

Who Wears the Pants in Your Family?

August 30, 2021 By Joy Rosenthal

When I was growing up, the expectation for middle-class marriages (which were always between women and men) was that it was the man’s job to earn enough money to support the family, and it was the woman’s job was to have children and to contribute to the economy by spending money.  [Of course, I recognize that working-class women (particularly those of color) have always worked.]  Couples were expected to stay married for life, and it was very difficult to get … read more »

Filed Under: Divorce, General

Breaking the news to the kids

August 16, 2021 By Joy Rosenthal

How to tell your kids you are getting divorced

Are you the child of a divorce? If so, do you remember when you realized that your parents were separating? My guess is that you do.What do you remember about it–Do you remember what room you were in? Or what you heard? What did you feel? Who comforted you? What was said? Did your parents tell you or did you overhear something? Was it in the context of an argument or was it presented to you calmly? Did your parents … read more »

Filed Under: Children, conflict resolution, Divorce, General Tagged With: children, divorce, family, listening, mediation

Love Me or Leave Me!

July 19, 2021 By Joy Rosenthal

I recently had the privilege of being interviewed by my colleagues, Isaiah Vallejo-Juste, Esq. and Meredith Shirey, LCSW for their podcast, Love Me or Leave Me.Isaiah is a divorce litigator, and Meredith is a couples therapist. I have a lot of respect for them both–we all work with NewYork City families, but approach our work in different ways. I thought they did a great job distilling my comments and getting to the heart of what mediation is and how I … read more »

Filed Under: Divorce, General, Mediation

Lawyers Make Things Worse!

June 14, 2021 By Joy Rosenthal

“Lawyers make things worse!” I sometimes say to my clients.  “They can take people who are this far apart,” I say with my hands about 4 inches away from each other, “and make them this far apart by the time they’re through!” continuing with my hands still facing each other but my arms stretched about 3 feet away. This may seem like blasphemy coming from a lawyer!  And I mean no disrespect to my colleagues – but it’s part of … read more »

Filed Under: Clients, Divorce, General, Negotiation Tagged With: divorce, law, lawyers, negotiating

You Might Have more in Common with Bill and Melinda Than You Think…

May 23, 2021 By Joy Rosenthal

Bill and Melinda Gates recently announced that they are divorcing after 27 years.  Besides having to address their billions of dollars and their enormously influential foundation, this has brought attention to issues of a mature (or “gray”) divorce.  Like many other couples, they waited until their youngest child is about to go off on her own.  And they, like so many others, have to plan for a very different future.  Divorcing later in life comes up more often than you … read more »

Filed Under: Children, Divorce, General, Negotiation Tagged With: aging, divorce, Divorce Finances, divorce mediation, gray divorce, retirement, understanding

Like a deer in headlights?

May 2, 2021 By Joy Rosenthal

Lisa sat in my office and cried silently for half an hour straight.  I had invited Lisa and Steve to an introductory meeting to explain the divorce mediation process.  He had just asked for the divorce, and she looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  At the end of the meeting, she looked over at him and asked, “How did we get here?” Months later, when they actually started the process, her demeanor was very different. By then, Lisa … read more »

Filed Under: Divorce Tagged With: divorce, listening, mediation, stages of divorce

Layers of Sound

April 23, 2021 By Joy Rosenthal

I have been meditating for a few years, and was part of a workshop recently where the facilitator had us listen to “layers of sound.”  I didn’t understand what she was talking about at first.  It sounded a little mysterious, and a little woo woo…. But I decided to try what she was asking.  And it’s not hard – I’ll show you. (This is an interactive blog post!) Listen – right now – first, to the sounds that are farthest … read more »

Filed Under: Divorce, General, Mediation, Mindfulness, Negotiation, Nonviolence Tagged With: common ground, compassion, conflict, inner voice, listening, mediation, negotiating

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Recent Posts

  • 7 Tips for Parents Talking to the Kids About Divorce or Separation
  • Did Will Smith have an amygdala hijack?  
  • The New York City Family Courts are Clogged Worse Than the BQE at Rush Hour

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Rosenthal Law & Mediation
212.532.4704

Joy S. Rosenthal, Esq.
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Brooklyn, NY 11218

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