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7 Tips for Parents Talking to the Kids About Divorce or Separation

May 6, 2022 By Joy Rosenthal

I’ve recently been helping some parents think through how and when to talk to their children about their divorce.  Here are some tips I’ve come up with – it’s based on years of reading and working with parents. –  please share it with your spouse! 7 Tips for Parents Talking to Kids About Divorce or Separation Plan. Talk with your spouse first and plan out how and when you are going to have this talk.  Your children will remember this … read more »

Filed Under: Children, Divorce, Families, General

Learning and Teaching

June 8, 2021 By Joy Rosenthal

  I just finished teaching Family Law for the third semester in a row at the CUNY School of Law.  Every semester, I learn almost as much as I teach.  It is a pleasure to have a beginner’s mind, as they say – to remember what it is like to NOT know.  CUNY students are particularly inspiring – many are going back to school after or while they are working, and there is always a wide range of life experiences … read more »

Filed Under: Cultural Competence, Families Tagged With: assumptions, CUNY Law School, family, Family Law, Family Law class, learning, New York Family Law, teaching

Mother’s Day 2021

May 9, 2021 By Joy Rosenthal

Today is Mother’s Day, 2021.  I am thinking about what it means to be a daughter to my mother, and a mother to my daughter.  I am thinking about my grandmother, Ida, who taught me about unconditional love and hard work, and about my other grandmother, Cecile, who taught me how to express your love through cooking and knitting.  I think about the ways I mother my nieces and nephews, my young friends, and about those who have mothered me … read more »

Filed Under: Adoption, Caregiving, Families Tagged With: family, Ma'Khia, mothers, village

Promises, Promises

February 11, 2020 By Joy Rosenthal

close-up on 2 hands making a pinky promise

The Oscar-nominated film, Marriage Story, by Noah Baumbach, is really a divorce story. It centers on the relationships between Nicole, an actor, her husband, Charlie, a Broadway director, and their eight-year-old son, Henry. The family lives together in Brooklyn until Nicole gets a job on a TV series in Los Angeles – and moves to LA with Henry. From Nicole’s perspective, she and Charlie had a deal that, someday, they would move to Los Angeles, which is where she grew … read more »

Filed Under: Collaborative Process, Divorce, Families, Marriage, Mediation, Mindfulness, Negotiation Tagged With: Communication, Love’s Promises: How Formal and Informal Contracts Shape All Kinds of Families, Marriage Story, Martha Ertman, Relationships, Separation Agreement

The Four Divorces

September 30, 2019 By Joy Rosenthal

Blue mountains and hills under beautiful orange sunset

In my practice, I have observed that when couples divorce, there are actually several layers of separation, each of which requires its own attention. I think of these as the emotional, social, physical and legal divorces. The emotional divorce between spouses, like that of any friendship, often happens over time. People may simply grow apart, particularly those who began their marriage when they were young. They may change their expectations for themselves and for what they want from a partner. … read more »

Filed Under: Collaborative Process, Divorce, Families, Marriage, Mediation, Negotiation Tagged With: divorce, Divorce Process, Emotional Divorce, Legal Divorce, Physical Divorce, Separation, Social Divorce

What Happens in the Mediation Room?

July 11, 2019 By Joy Rosenthal

What Happens in the Mediation Room? by Joy Rosenthal

I ask both parties to come in for an introductory meeting when they inquire about divorce mediation. I am not a fancy person. I look professional, but I don’t often wear suits in the office. I try not to use big words, and to explain things in English, rather than legalese. I don’t think my job is to scare clients — in fact, I try to reassure them that they can get through the process, because they can. And our … read more »

Filed Under: Clients, Divorce, Families, Mediation, Negotiation Tagged With: Deciding to Divorce, divorce mediation, mediation, Mediation Process, Mediator

Law School 101

June 24, 2019 By Joy Rosenthal

Law School 101 by Joy Rosenthal

American law is created in two ways — by statute and by case law. Statutes are proposed and drafted by legislators for that jurisdiction, and other government rules and regulations are drafted by the agencies that are charged with running them. Most laws about family relationships are state laws. The statutes that relate to divorce, separation and children are mostly found in the New York State Domestic Relations Law (DRL) and in the Family Court Act (FCA). These are texts … read more »

Filed Under: Child Support, Collaborative Process, Divorce, Families, Mediation, Negotiation Tagged With: Bast v. Rossoff, Family Court Act (FCA), New York State Domestic Relations Law (DRL), Obergefell v. Hodges

What’s Your Story?

May 2, 2019 By Joy Rosenthal

What’s Your Story? by Joy Rosenthal

“If you are not writing your stories, your stories are being written by others.” – Wajahat Ali “The world is made up of stories, not atoms” – Muriel Rukheyser We are winding down the spring semester Family Law class at CUNY Law School. Last week, in our class about domestic violence, I showed the students a documentary, Crime After Crime1. It’s about Debbie Peagler, who participated in the murder of her boyfriend after he brutally abused her all through her … read more »

Filed Under: Families, Happiness Tagged With: Crime After Crime, CUNY Law School, Family Law class, Life perspective

Breaking the News to the Kids

February 26, 2019 By Joy Rosenthal

How to tell your kids you are getting divorced

My clients, Luis and Rosa, have the daunting task of telling their four-year-old son about their upcoming separation and divorce. They have asked me for some suggestions about how to tell him. Here are some pointers I’ve gleaned over the years that might be useful for Luis and Rosa — and for you if you ever find yourself in that position. Tips for Parents Talking to Kids About Divorce or Separation Create a safe atmosphere. Call a meeting at home, in … read more »

Filed Under: Divorce, Families Tagged With: Divorce Advice, Parenting Through Divorce

Facing Your ‘Other’

December 11, 2018 By Joy Rosenthal

Facing Your 'Other' by Joy Rosenthal

  When I mediate, I am sometimes struck by the fact that our lives can be profoundly affected by  the actions of others. It can be frustrating to think about our lives being out of our control. I am happier when I focus on what we can control — particularly our own thoughts, our attitudes, and our actions. Of course, change is difficult, but certainly possible. I have used my thoughts and actions at critical points to change the course … read more »

Filed Under: Families, Happiness, Mindfulness, Negotiation Tagged With: Empathy, Jacqui Lewis, mediation, Middle Collegiate Church, Revolutionary Love, Tolerance

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Joy S. Rosenthal, Esq.
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