Sometimes help comes from unexpected places, like in this delightful post I saw on LinkedIn this week. It is short but uplifting – literally and figuratively! (And don’t you just love how she comes back to say thank you??) Elephant rescue! How have people come through for you at times of need? When my life has been in crisis, I’ve found that friends and family have shown up in amazing ways. But what surprised me was how virtual strangers showed … read more »
Sometimes Hope is In a Cowbell.
Remember three years ago, when the shutdown happened and we were hiding in our apartments, scared to go outside… Scared to breathe on each other. Scared to go to the grocery store. Scared we were going to run out of toilet paper. (smile). Remember all of that? I sat down to watch Jeopardy! the other day, noticing that it was light out because of Daylight Savings Time. I looked at the cow bell and the pliers still sitting on the shelf … read more »
Who’s Your Mama?
Who’s your mama? Seem like a stupid question, doesn’t it? Well, wait til you take family law with me! I’ll have your head spinning. Here’s the synopsis of a case we read this week. (True story!) Dawn and Michael were married and lived out in Long Island. They tried to have kids, but had difficulty conceiving. A few years later, they became a throuple with Audria, who moved in with them. The 3 of them planned and to have and … read more »
If your spouse is a louse…
If your spouse is a louse I’ll get you the house. That Dr. Seuss-like saying was the on the business card of a litigator I met at my first training on collaborative law. While his card was memorable (that was over 16 years ago), alas, his name was not. (I just googled the saying to see if I could find his name and came up with a lot of information about head lice. Hah.) That little diddy is funny, but … read more »
Who Gets the Benefit of the Doubt?
My sister-in-law posted a piece by DEI trainer Madison Butler on LinkedIn this week that started, “I always keep the receipts. As a Black woman, I feel compelled to keep every receipt, document everything I do, preserve every paper trail. I delete nothing. I throw nothing away … When Black women talk about racism, homophobia or other abuses we deal with, people demand to see the receipts. That is the writing of someone who does not expect to be given … read more »
Who Made the Pie?
When I was in law school, I was active in an organization called PILA – the Public Interest Law Association. We raised money to sponsor paid summer internships for our fellow students to work at legal nonprofits. We would bake casseroles and sell lunch outside of faculty meetings and hold a yearly auction – real grassroots stuff. Then one year, my friend, Mary Marrow suggested that we hold a Thanksgiving pie sale. I was living in an apartment on 114th … read more »
7 Tips for Parents Talking to the Kids About Divorce or Separation
I’ve recently been helping some parents think through how and when to talk to their children about their divorce. Here are some tips I’ve come up with – it’s based on years of reading and working with parents. – please share it with your spouse! 7 Tips for Parents Talking to Kids About Divorce or Separation Plan. Talk with your spouse first and plan out how and when you are going to have this talk. Your children will remember this … read more »
Learning and Teaching
I just finished teaching Family Law for the third semester in a row at the CUNY School of Law. Every semester, I learn almost as much as I teach. It is a pleasure to have a beginner’s mind, as they say – to remember what it is like to NOT know. CUNY students are particularly inspiring – many are going back to school after or while they are working, and there is always a wide range of life experiences … read more »
Mother’s Day 2021
Today is Mother’s Day, 2021. I am thinking about what it means to be a daughter to my mother, and a mother to my daughter. I am thinking about my grandmother, Ida, who taught me about unconditional love and hard work, and about my other grandmother, Cecile, who taught me how to express your love through cooking and knitting. I think about the ways I mother my nieces and nephews, my young friends, and about those who have mothered me … read more »
Promises, Promises
The Oscar-nominated film, Marriage Story, by Noah Baumbach, is really a divorce story. It centers on the relationships between Nicole, an actor, her husband, Charlie, a Broadway director, and their eight-year-old son, Henry. The family lives together in Brooklyn until Nicole gets a job on a TV series in Los Angeles – and moves to LA with Henry. From Nicole’s perspective, she and Charlie had a deal that, someday, they would move to Los Angeles, which is where she grew … read more »
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