I recently returned from a bucket-list trip to South Africa. There is much I hope to write about, but one experience stands above the rest: visiting Robben Island. Robben Island, about five miles off the coast of Cape Town, served as South Africa’s maximum-security prison from the mid-1960s until 1991. Most of the inmates were political prisoners who had been arrested for opposing Apartheid. Nelson Mandela was sentenced to life imprisonment in 1964 and remained on Robben Island until … read more »
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
I received a response to last week’s email (about Good Trouble) that I found really moving, so I thought you might want to read it. I think it brings into focus what is in that back of the minds of many. The author is a former client, who gave me permission to share this. Dear Joy, I am so torn. I am the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors…while some people made the scary and uncertain decision to leave Europe as rumors … read more »
The Fight!
My CUNY Law students had a fight in class last week. 😡 We were talking about a case that’s before the Supreme Court challenging the Indian Child Welfare Act (more about that another time) and one of the students brought up a case that’s been in the news of a US soldier who abducted an Afghani baby girl. Another student said, “There’s an argument to be made that a girl will have a better upbringing in the US than in … read more »
Who Gets the Benefit of the Doubt?
My sister-in-law posted a piece by DEI trainer Madison Butler on LinkedIn this week that started, “I always keep the receipts. As a Black woman, I feel compelled to keep every receipt, document everything I do, preserve every paper trail. I delete nothing. I throw nothing away … When Black women talk about racism, homophobia or other abuses we deal with, people demand to see the receipts. That is the writing of someone who does not expect to be given … read more »
The New York City Family Courts are Clogged Worse Than the BQE at Rush Hour
I filed two uncontested divorces in early February 2021 in Manhattan Supreme Court, and neither of them have been signed yet. That is nearly 13 months. It is stressful for my clients, and has a real economic impact, because they cannot transfer or access their retirement accounts until their judgment of divorce is signed. — But that is nothing compared to what is going on in Family Court. I worked in the Family Courts for 10 years before I became … read more »
Learning and Teaching
I just finished teaching Family Law for the third semester in a row at the CUNY School of Law. Every semester, I learn almost as much as I teach. It is a pleasure to have a beginner’s mind, as they say – to remember what it is like to NOT know. CUNY students are particularly inspiring – many are going back to school after or while they are working, and there is always a wide range of life experiences … read more »
Who Are We?
One of the oddest questions I have to ask when I am preparing adoption petitions or processing divorces is how people identify in terms of religious heritage, race, or ethnicity. The Court requires this information — but it is always more than a little awkward to ask. After all, why should it matter? But it is interesting to hear how clients respond. Some answer quickly, indicating that they have a clearly defined identity, while others respond as though they are … read more »
R-E-S-P-E-C-T — Find Out What it Means to Me!
I write this just days after the death of the infamous Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin. Hers was the voice of a generation — my generation — but she meant so much more. While it is difficult to imagine a world without her, I am grateful for her music, which will live on. From my perspective, Aretha’s most influential song was “Respect,” written by Otis Redding. As Wesley Morris wrote in her obituary, she turned the song — and the … read more »
Keep Your Enemies Closer
A few weeks ago, I wrote about the book, Dignity, by Donna Hicks. Today I am writing about another important book I’ve read recently, The Opposite of Hate: A Field Guide to Repairing Our Humanity, by Sally Kohn. Sally was my intern many years ago when she was in law school and she was funny, sometimes quirky, and wicked smart. She is a progressive lesbian feminist from Brooklyn, who is also a television commentator. She appeared often on Fox News, … read more »
Implicit Bias
“What will you do about your implicit bias?” Jennifer asked me as she sat across the table. She, a woman of color, was in my office with her husband, a white man, for an introductory session to discuss using mediation as a process for their divorce. Hers was a fair question. And it was one I have never been asked before. “Are you familiar with the concept?” she continued, apparently expecting me to say that I wasn’t. “I was a … read more »