My mother, Esther Edelman Rowland, turned 100 last weekend, and we’ve had a series of parties to celebrate. I wanted to let you know a little bit about her. Growing up during the Great Depression and the time of the Spanish Civil War, she developed a political awareness and a commitment to equality and social justice. She attended City College, the University of Wisconsin, and received her Master’s Degree in Political Science from Columbia University. She met my father, Lewis … read more »
Life’s twists and turns
Twenty-five years ago this week, I married Dr. Makanda Ken McIntyre – we stood in front of our friends and family and promised to have a home filled with love and music and creativity. After serving bagels and lox and rice and beans, we danced to funk music, listened to (and played!) live jazz, and watched an amazing African dance group. It was SO much fun. I couldn’t believe my good luck at finding someone who really understood me and … read more »
Sticky Positivity
I hit a really rough patch in my life when I was about 30. I was out of work, had been in a bad relationship for several years, and things with family members were really strained. I felt alone and scared. I went to see an old teacher who told me to “keep joy up front.” I didn’t understand what he meant at first, but I used that as a mantra. I decided to focus on what I did have … read more »
Sophie Gooddog, Meet Sophie Baddog!
I met a neighbor the other day, and this was our conversation: “What a lovely dog?” she asked. “What’s her name?” “Sophie Gooddog,” I replied. “Oh, that’s funny,” she said. “I have a friend who also has a dog named Sophie. And she also has an African grey parrot. She says ‘Bad Dog’ so often to Sophie that the parrot calls the dog, ‘Sophie Baddog!’ I laughed. (Here’s a video about how smart African grey parrots are!) My neighbor continued, … read more »
Let them. Let me. Let us
When I was working with teenagers in foster care, I used to tell them, ‘You can’t control anyone else, you can only control yourself – and your reactions to others.’ Mel Robbins, a brilliant and popular author and speaker, and podcaster, has boiled this concept down to two words: Let them. Her latest book, The Let Them Theory, is #1 on the New York Times bestseller list for Advice and #1 on Audible.com right now. Mel has a very relatable … read more »
Finding Joy in Hard Times
I ain’t gonna lie – it’s been a hard week at my house. I’m doing all the things that comfort me: playing music, writing, exercising, connecting with folks, (there is a little ice cream involved, too…). My mom sent me this article to cheer me up: “Who Has the Secret to Well-Being? The Answer May Surprise You.” Spoiler alert: the answer is toddlers. Toddlers who talk to themselves, who move, who ask over 100 questions an hour! And who look … read more »
Finding Joy
I want to let you in on a secret. My name wasn’t always Joy (it was Judy). Nor did I feel joyful. When I was in my 20s, I was in a long and terrible relationship with a woman named Janet who had my head all turned around. I was miserable and couldn’t see a way out. When I DID find a way out, I changed almost instantly. Somehow, in letting go of Janet, I also let go of the … read more »
With A Little Help from Our Friends …
Sometimes help comes from unexpected places, like in this delightful post I saw on LinkedIn this week. It is short but uplifting – literally and figuratively! (And don’t you just love how she comes back to say thank you??) Elephant rescue! How have people come through for you at times of need? When my life has been in crisis, I’ve found that friends and family have shown up in amazing ways. But what surprised me was how virtual strangers showed … read more »
Strength, Courage and Wisdom
Strength, courage, and wisdom And it’s been inside of me all along Strength, courage, and wisdom Inside of me… India Arie I don’t think there is any question but that 2020 was one of the toughest years on record. Was it for you? It certainly was for me. The year brought one challenge after another – personally and professionally. Everything shut down so quickly! We thought it was going to last a few weeks… and now it’s been over a … read more »
As I Live and Breathe…
In early February, before the whole world turned upside-down, I traveled to a tiny village on the Pacific coast of Mexico to attend an intensive, week-long training for conflict resolution professionals from around the world. Led by master trainer Gary Friedman of the Center for Understanding in Conflict and Zoketsu Norman Fischer of the Everyday Zen Center, the program was called Inside Out: Conflict and Compassion. We were there to look deeply at our reactions to the conflicts we witness … read more »