I received a response to last week’s email (about Good Trouble) that I found really moving, so I thought you might want to read it. I think it brings into focus what is in that back of the minds of many. The author is a former client, who gave me permission to share this. Dear Joy, I am so torn. I am the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors…while some people made the scary and uncertain decision to leave Europe as rumors … read more »
How to Win at Divorce (and Life) … IMHO
A few weeks ago, I attended an online conference called “How to Win At Divorce.” This seemed like a strange proposition. After all, what does it mean to “win” at divorce?? Honestly, I thought the presentations would all be about how to get as much out of your ex as possible, positioning them as the enemy. Thankfully, that’s not what they did. But it made me really think about the question. (Ok, I just asked Chat GPT how to win … read more »
The Fight!
My CUNY Law students had a fight in class last week. 😡 We were talking about a case that’s before the Supreme Court challenging the Indian Child Welfare Act (more about that another time) and one of the students brought up a case that’s been in the news of a US soldier who abducted an Afghani baby girl. Another student said, “There’s an argument to be made that a girl will have a better upbringing in the US than in … read more »
Sometimes Hope is In a Cowbell.
Remember three years ago, when the shutdown happened and we were hiding in our apartments, scared to go outside… Scared to breathe on each other. Scared to go to the grocery store. Scared we were going to run out of toilet paper. (smile). Remember all of that? I sat down to watch Jeopardy! the other day, noticing that it was light out because of Daylight Savings Time. I looked at the cow bell and the pliers still sitting on the shelf … read more »
Who Gets the Benefit of the Doubt?
My sister-in-law posted a piece by DEI trainer Madison Butler on LinkedIn this week that started, “I always keep the receipts. As a Black woman, I feel compelled to keep every receipt, document everything I do, preserve every paper trail. I delete nothing. I throw nothing away … When Black women talk about racism, homophobia or other abuses we deal with, people demand to see the receipts. That is the writing of someone who does not expect to be given … read more »
PS – Thanks for the Invitation!
I’ve taken to watching TikTok videos to wind down before I go to sleep. I love the music and the stupid dad jokes and the dancing and the cute dog videos (have you seen scruffabella?). But I’ve also started watching Cory Booker, who shares stories about kindness and compassion after his morning run. This video is about 9 seconds. It’s for those among us who are confronted by people who get on our last nerve. For those who spend time … read more »
Did Will Smith have an amygdala hijack?
That is what psychologist Daniel Goleman has described as the fight or flight response. The amygdala, a tiny almond shaped structure in our brains, sometimes acts almost reflexively. When a lion is after you, the theory goes, you don’t have time to make a thoughtful, considered decision. It’s time to go! Chris Rock was not a lion – and Will Smith wasn’t in physical danger. But Will Smith obviously felt so threatened that he had to do something about it … read more »
Layers of Sound
I have been meditating for a few years, and was part of a workshop recently where the facilitator had us listen to “layers of sound.” I didn’t understand what she was talking about at first. It sounded a little mysterious, and a little woo woo…. But I decided to try what she was asking. And it’s not hard – I’ll show you. (This is an interactive blog post!) Listen – right now – first, to the sounds that are farthest … read more »
Power to the People!
A big change is coming to the New York State court system. Starting this fall, all New York State courts will work on a system of “presumptive mediation,” which means that it will be assumed that every civil case filed can be resolved using Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) e.g. mediation, arbitration or early neutral evaluation. Instead of having to opt in – to affirmatively decide to mediate — parties may opt out. Think of the difference between being presumed innocent … read more »
Off to a Good Start
After my beautiful, slow and plodding dog, Riley, died last summer, I had to come up with a new routine. No longer tied to our wonderful morning walk in the park, I wanted to try something new. Like those walks, it had to be contemplative and beautiful and put me in touch with nature. So almost every morning for the last year or so, I’ve been meditating for 15 minutes or so upon waking up, using the Headspace app on … read more »