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Did Will Smith have an amygdala hijack?  

April 1, 2022 By Joy Rosenthal

That is what psychologist Daniel Goleman has described as the fight or flight response.  The amygdala, a tiny almond shaped structure in our brains, sometimes acts almost reflexively.  When a lion is after you, the theory goes, you don’t have time to make a thoughtful, considered decision.  It’s time to go! Chris Rock was not a lion – and Will Smith wasn’t in physical danger.  But Will Smith obviously felt so threatened that he had to do something about it … read more »

Filed Under: conflict resolution, General, Negotiation, Nonviolence Tagged With: conflict, Dignity, negotiating, understanding

It’s Too Darn Hot!

June 21, 2021 By Joy Rosenthal

The other day I was on the phone with a friend who was in the Napa Valley. All of the sudden, we got cut off and couldn’t connect back for a long while.  When she finally was able to call me back, she said, “My phone was too hot! It said I could make emergency phone calls only.”  It was 103 degrees there!! Ahh, climate change! What if we had the same kind of internal emergency warning sign when our … read more »

Filed Under: conflict resolution Tagged With: arguing, brain, conflict, mindfulness, neuroscience

Layers of Sound

April 23, 2021 By Joy Rosenthal

I have been meditating for a few years, and was part of a workshop recently where the facilitator had us listen to “layers of sound.”  I didn’t understand what she was talking about at first.  It sounded a little mysterious, and a little woo woo…. But I decided to try what she was asking.  And it’s not hard – I’ll show you. (This is an interactive blog post!) Listen – right now – first, to the sounds that are farthest … read more »

Filed Under: Divorce, General, Mediation, Mindfulness, Negotiation, Nonviolence Tagged With: common ground, compassion, conflict, inner voice, listening, mediation, negotiating

Finally, A Better Definition of Family

September 21, 2016 By Joy Rosenthal

New York’s highest court, the New York State Court of Appeals, made a long overdue and unquestionably important decision last month—that a de facto parent who is not a biological or adoptive parent has standing to petition for custody and visitation. This comes up in the context of same-sex relationships where one parent is related to the child biologically, where the parents have raised the children together but are not married.  The issue is whether, if they break up, the … read more »

Filed Under: Caregiving, Children, Divorce, Families, LGBT Tagged With: children, compassion, conflict, court, custody, divorce, family, gay, lesbian, LGBT, marriage

Let Freedom Ring

August 27, 2013 By Joy Rosenthal

Tomorrow is the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington in which the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his magnificent “I Have a Dream” speech – one of most inspiring and important speeches in history.  In anticipation, I just read the full text of the speech again, and link to it here. There are some lines that we have heard over and again, and which we need to hear over and again.  But there are a few others … read more »

Filed Under: Cultural Competence, Happiness, Mindfulness, Negotiation, Nonviolence Tagged With: common ground, compassion, conflict, honesty, hope, inclusivity, nonviolence, understanding

The Dreaded Pre-nup

February 18, 2013 By Joy Rosenthal

Lately, I have had a few clients who have come to me asking for a prenuptial agreement because their parents insisted that they have one. Prenups used to be thought of only for the rich and famous.  But they are becoming much more common, and are losing some of their stigma.  When should you consider having a pre-nup?  Here are some common examples when a pre-nup can be helpful.  If: You are part of a family business, and you want … read more »

Filed Under: Collaborative Process, Divorce, LGBT, Marriage, Mediation, Negotiation, Prenuptial Tagged With: children, collaborative process, common ground, compassion, conflict, family, gay, lesbian, LGBT, marriage

We’re quoted in Smart Money!

September 5, 2012 By Joy Rosenthal

Well, this doesn’t happen every day!  We’re quoted in Smart Money – a national magazine published by the Wall Street Journal. I had quite a long talk with the reporter, Glenn Ruffenbach.  He just used one idea from our discussion, but it is an important one – that disputes between siblings is a bit different because they don’t often have the opportunity (or the experience) to work on problem-solving together. While other articles have focused on what elder mediation is, … read more »

Filed Under: Elder Mediation, Elder Mediation, Families, Mediation, Probate Mediation Tagged With: aging, caregiving, conflict, elder mediation, estate mediation, family, mediation, money

Which Way Are You Facing?

May 25, 2008 By Joy Rosenthal

One of the hardest and most important tasks in working with a couple is to get them to turn around.  They almost always come in, facing each other, arguing.   They see the other person in front of them, and often they are furious.  All they can see is what that person has done to them, all they can feel is the loss and rage inside that that person has caused.    And then there are the logistics to work … read more »

Filed Under: General Tagged With: collaborative process, common ground, conflict, mediation

The Four Divorces

April 9, 2008 By Joy Rosenthal

It has been said that people go through several different divorces – emotional, social, physical and legal. The couple that was once connected in a million different ways now has to learn how to untangle. The first three apply whether the couple was legally married or not. Even though divorce only applies to people who are legally married, there may be legal issues that arise when unmarried couples split up, as well. Emotional divorce occurs when the couple is no … read more »

Filed Under: General Tagged With: conflict, divorce, stages of divorce

The Willingness to Disagree

March 27, 2008 By Joy Rosenthal

One of my mentors, Gary Friedman, lists four criteria that you need to mediate: – the motivation to mediate– self-responsibility– the willingness to agree– the willingness to disagree (A Guide to Divorce Mediation: How to Reach a Fair Legal Settlement at a Fraction of the Cost. NY: Workman Publishing, 1993) These criteria apply to the collaborative practice, too. In my next few posts, I will explore the four criteria, starting with the last one. “The willingness to disagree in a … read more »

Filed Under: General Tagged With: conflict, criteria, Friedman, honesty, Shakespeare

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Recent Posts

  • 7 Tips for Parents Talking to the Kids About Divorce or Separation
  • Did Will Smith have an amygdala hijack?  
  • The New York City Family Courts are Clogged Worse Than the BQE at Rush Hour

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Rosenthal Law & Mediation
212.532.4704

Joy S. Rosenthal, Esq.
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Brooklyn, NY 11218

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