I have been meditating for a few years, and was part of a workshop recently where the facilitator had us listen to “layers of sound.” I didn’t understand what she was talking about at first. It sounded a little mysterious, and a little woo woo…. But I decided to try what she was asking. And it’s not hard – I’ll show you. (This is an interactive blog post!) Listen – right now – first, to the sounds that are farthest … read more »
Collaborative Law: A Different Way to Divorce
The media often portray divorce with ex-spouses lawyered up as courtroom adversaries — the same folks who once pledged to hold each other through better or worse now as mortal enemies fighting over the turf of their children’s hearts and minds. Going through a divorce can be a challenging, trying process. The reality is that divorce is usually much more complicated and nuanced. Most clients I see are sad and confused and grieving and tender and thoughtful and hurt … read more »
Separating – but Not Too Far
I was recently quoted in the New York Times in an article about couples – particularly those with children – who continue to live near each other after they get divorced. While living near your ex is not for everyone, it can have its advantages. For instance, When the children forget something at the other parent’s home, it is no big deal to go get it. Parents don’t have to worry about pick up and drop offs. The children can go … read more »
Let Freedom Ring
Tomorrow is the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington in which the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his magnificent “I Have a Dream” speech – one of most inspiring and important speeches in history. In anticipation, I just read the full text of the speech again, and link to it here. There are some lines that we have heard over and again, and which we need to hear over and again. But there are a few others … read more »
The Dreaded Pre-nup
Lately, I have had a few clients who have come to me asking for a prenuptial agreement because their parents insisted that they have one. Prenups used to be thought of only for the rich and famous. But they are becoming much more common, and are losing some of their stigma. When should you consider having a pre-nup? Here are some common examples when a pre-nup can be helpful. If: You are part of a family business, and you want … read more »
In the News
Three articles have caught my eye this week, because I provide all 3 services. This is why I love my varied practice — all geared toward helping families through their many transiations! The New York Law Journal published an article (in which I am featured!) by colleagues Ellie Wertheim and Abby Tolchinsky entitled Elder Mediation Addresses Range of Family Decisions, explaining that often, mediation can address important issues that the law cannot. The New York Times article, If ‘Forever’ Doesn’t … read more »
Will the law catch up?
The papers have been rife with stories this week about New York’s new law allowing same-sex marriage. It couldn’t have come at a more poignant time – 2 days before Gay Pride day. People have described the mood there as unadulterated joy – one friend even told me, “I haven’t experienced anything like that since the March on Washington” — meaning the 1963 march in which Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his “I Have a Dream” speech. It is … read more »
Marriage Equality in New York State!
Last night the NYS Senate approved our marriage equality bill, allowing same-sex couples to marry. This is historically significant in several respects: New York is the largest state to legalize same-sex marriage. New York is only the 6th state in the US to legalize same-sex marriage. This more than doubles the number of same-sex couples who can marry in their home state. Marriage has numerous benefits to families. The vote was largely the result of advocacy groups working overlooking their … read more »
Today’s Families
There are several articles in today’s NYTimes that reflect a change in today’s families, on this Father’s Day, 2011: A front page article about President Obama’s evolving views of gay marriage. Baby Makes 4, And Complications – A long and very personal portrait of a Park Slope mother, child, sperm donor/father and his partner. How Divorce Lost Its Groove, about the attitudes young people have toward divorce, and how they are trying to make it gentler on their kids — … read more »
What Makes a Good Marriage? II
Last week I started to blog about an article I read recently in the New York Times, “The Happy Marriage is the ‘Me’ Marriage,” by Tara Parker-Pope. She cites researchers who have looked at the question of what makes a marriage. A Dutch researcher, Caryl Rusbult, found that it was the “Michaelangelo effect,” – partners ‘sculpt’ each other to help them each achieve their goals. US professors, Arthur Aron and Gary Lewandowski, Jr. refer to the concept of ‘self-expansion” – … read more »