Have you ever felt like your whole world was upended? When it felt like the rug was pulled out from under your feet, and the firm ground you thought you were standing on suddenly disappeared? It’s happened to me twice – when my first husband died suddenly in 2001, and 3 years ago when my second husband, Darryl Alladice, died in the beginning of the Covid pandemic. When some big (often unexpected) life event would happen Darryl would say, “The river bends.” Well, … read more »
Who Gets the Benefit of the Doubt?
My sister-in-law posted a piece by DEI trainer Madison Butler on LinkedIn this week that started, “I always keep the receipts. As a Black woman, I feel compelled to keep every receipt, document everything I do, preserve every paper trail. I delete nothing. I throw nothing away … When Black women talk about racism, homophobia or other abuses we deal with, people demand to see the receipts. That is the writing of someone who does not expect to be given … read more »
Layers of Sound
I have been meditating for a few years, and was part of a workshop recently where the facilitator had us listen to “layers of sound.” I didn’t understand what she was talking about at first. It sounded a little mysterious, and a little woo woo…. But I decided to try what she was asking. And it’s not hard – I’ll show you. (This is an interactive blog post!) Listen – right now – first, to the sounds that are farthest … read more »
Collaborative Law: A Different Way to Divorce
The media often portray divorce with ex-spouses lawyered up as courtroom adversaries — the same folks who once pledged to hold each other through better or worse now as mortal enemies fighting over the turf of their children’s hearts and minds. Going through a divorce can be a challenging, trying process. The reality is that divorce is usually much more complicated and nuanced. Most clients I see are sad and confused and grieving and tender and thoughtful and hurt … read more »
Separating – but Not Too Far
I was recently quoted in the New York Times in an article about couples – particularly those with children – who continue to live near each other after they get divorced. While living near your ex is not for everyone, it can have its advantages. For instance, When the children forget something at the other parent’s home, it is no big deal to go get it. Parents don’t have to worry about pick up and drop offs. The children can go … read more »
Let Freedom Ring
Tomorrow is the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington in which the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his magnificent “I Have a Dream” speech – one of most inspiring and important speeches in history. In anticipation, I just read the full text of the speech again, and link to it here. There are some lines that we have heard over and again, and which we need to hear over and again. But there are a few others … read more »
The Dreaded Pre-nup
Lately, I have had a few clients who have come to me asking for a prenuptial agreement because their parents insisted that they have one. Prenups used to be thought of only for the rich and famous. But they are becoming much more common, and are losing some of their stigma. When should you consider having a pre-nup? Here are some common examples when a pre-nup can be helpful. If: You are part of a family business, and you want … read more »
In the News
Three articles have caught my eye this week, because I provide all 3 services. This is why I love my varied practice — all geared toward helping families through their many transiations! The New York Law Journal published an article (in which I am featured!) by colleagues Ellie Wertheim and Abby Tolchinsky entitled Elder Mediation Addresses Range of Family Decisions, explaining that often, mediation can address important issues that the law cannot. The New York Times article, If ‘Forever’ Doesn’t … read more »
Will the law catch up?
The papers have been rife with stories this week about New York’s new law allowing same-sex marriage. It couldn’t have come at a more poignant time – 2 days before Gay Pride day. People have described the mood there as unadulterated joy – one friend even told me, “I haven’t experienced anything like that since the March on Washington” — meaning the 1963 march in which Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his “I Have a Dream” speech. It is … read more »
Marriage Equality in New York State!
Last night the NYS Senate approved our marriage equality bill, allowing same-sex couples to marry. This is historically significant in several respects: New York is the largest state to legalize same-sex marriage. New York is only the 6th state in the US to legalize same-sex marriage. This more than doubles the number of same-sex couples who can marry in their home state. Marriage has numerous benefits to families. The vote was largely the result of advocacy groups working overlooking their … read more »