The world has changed in a week – all of the news is about grief, chaos, and fear. And even though it isn’t happening so much here, it feels very close, doesn’t it? How do we talk with our children in such a time? I wanted to share a few resources about how to talk to children about the violence in Israel and Gaza that might be helpful. Dr. Jamie Howard on CBS Morning Show (9 min video) NPR’s Becky … read more »
A Little Advice From Our Friends…
I got some amazing responses last week from parents who’ve been divorced for a while, so I’m sharing them below. Please share this with anyone who might use the advice! (Warning: this is a little long…) Strategic Holiday Allocation for the Sake of the Kids We remember the divvying up of holidays was fairly simple. Not unemotional, but we really handled it in a way that made sense for everyone, especially the kids. It was really about which holidays were … read more »
‘Who’s Your Mama?’ Gets More Complicated…
This week I want to talk about 2 terrible recent decisions involving lesbian moms – and some information about how lesbian families can and should protect themselves. The first was a case in Oklahoma – Kris and Rebekah decided to have a baby together. They searched for a known donor and found Harlan, who lived in Texas. Rebekah (who was to be the birth mom) and Harlan signed a donor agreement and he provided the sperm. The 2 women got … read more »
Who’s Your Mama?
Who’s your mama? Seem like a stupid question, doesn’t it? Well, wait til you take family law with me! I’ll have your head spinning. Here’s the synopsis of a case we read this week. (True story!) Dawn and Michael were married and lived out in Long Island. They tried to have kids, but had difficulty conceiving. A few years later, they became a throuple with Audria, who moved in with them. The 3 of them planned and to have and … read more »
7 Tips for Parents Talking to the Kids About Divorce or Separation
I’ve recently been helping some parents think through how and when to talk to their children about their divorce. Here are some tips I’ve come up with – it’s based on years of reading and working with parents. – please share it with your spouse! 7 Tips for Parents Talking to Kids About Divorce or Separation Plan. Talk with your spouse first and plan out how and when you are going to have this talk. Your children will remember this … read more »
The New York City Family Courts are Clogged Worse Than the BQE at Rush Hour
I filed two uncontested divorces in early February 2021 in Manhattan Supreme Court, and neither of them have been signed yet. That is nearly 13 months. It is stressful for my clients, and has a real economic impact, because they cannot transfer or access their retirement accounts until their judgment of divorce is signed. — But that is nothing compared to what is going on in Family Court. I worked in the Family Courts for 10 years before I became … read more »
Breaking the news to the kids
Are you the child of a divorce? If so, do you remember when you realized that your parents were separating? My guess is that you do.What do you remember about it–Do you remember what room you were in? Or what you heard? What did you feel? Who comforted you? What was said? Did your parents tell you or did you overhear something? Was it in the context of an argument or was it presented to you calmly? Did your parents … read more »
You Might Have more in Common with Bill and Melinda Than You Think…
Bill and Melinda Gates recently announced that they are divorcing after 27 years. Besides having to address their billions of dollars and their enormously influential foundation, this has brought attention to issues of a mature (or “gray”) divorce. Like many other couples, they waited until their youngest child is about to go off on her own. And they, like so many others, have to plan for a very different future. Divorcing later in life comes up more often than you … read more »
Making a Better Child Support Agreement
A few months ago, I wrote a few notes about spousal maintenance. Today, I’d like to write a few notes about child support that I think are important to keep in mind. I gave a basic overview of child support last year, but I thought I would take the time to write about it again, since this is such an important part of any separation agreement. (You’re learning along with my students!) The Child Support Formula In an effort to … read more »
Families Belong Together
On June 30, I joined about 30,000 others in Foley Square in Manhattan to protest the detention of the over 2,300 children who have been ripped away from their parents at the southern US border — many of whom are under 10 years old. Some are housed in large tents, some in converted warehouses. Some are scattered thousands of miles away from their parents — to 17 states, including New York. Yet, these kids have done nothing wrong. Their parents, … read more »