(written collaboratively by Estate Planning Attorney Leslie Sultan, Esq.) Are you (or someone you love) going through a divorce? Don’t forget to think about your estate plan along the way. This article will cover a few steps to ensure that your assets go to your children and your loved ones (and not your Ex!). Although there are some things you may be able to do on your own, it is always best to talk to an experienced professional who can … read more »
How to Win at Divorce (and Life) … IMHO
A few weeks ago, I attended an online conference called “How to Win At Divorce.” This seemed like a strange proposition. After all, what does it mean to “win” at divorce?? Honestly, I thought the presentations would all be about how to get as much out of your ex as possible, positioning them as the enemy. Thankfully, that’s not what they did. But it made me really think about the question. (Ok, I just asked Chat GPT how to win … read more »
AMAZING! THINGS ARE HAPPENING HERE!
You might have seen the signs around NY Presbyterian Hospital that say AMAZING THINGS ARE HAPPENING HERE. My dad, who was a great neurologist (and Grammarian-in-Chief) at their hospital on 168th and Broadway, used to joke that they forgot the ! after the word AMAZING. Get it? (smile) Well, I’m as amazed as anyone else at what’s gone on this week. We had a lively discussion on my workshop, 3 Sure-fire Ways to Save Time, Stress and $$$ on Your Divorce. I appeared on … read more »
Who’s Your Mama?
Who’s your mama? Seem like a stupid question, doesn’t it? Well, wait til you take family law with me! I’ll have your head spinning. Here’s the synopsis of a case we read this week. (True story!) Dawn and Michael were married and lived out in Long Island. They tried to have kids, but had difficulty conceiving. A few years later, they became a throuple with Audria, who moved in with them. The 3 of them planned and to have and … read more »
The High Cost of Divorce
I teach family law at CUNY Law School and the semester started a few weeks ago. Here I was on the first day back (hat hair and all): This week, I brought in a well-respected colleague as a guest to talk about how a contested divorce moves through the court system. He told the students about discovery demands and motion practice and preliminary conferences and a lot of time-consuming stuff. And then he mentioned his hourly rate, and there was an audible gasp … read more »
Why I Don’t Caucus
One of the things to think about when you are looking for a divorce mediator is whether they will meet with both of you together or will meet with you each separately. Meeting with each person separately in mediation is called “caucusing.” Mediators who caucus often do “shuttle mediation” — they go back and forth between parties who are in separate rooms, helping each identify their priorities and working toward a resolution. But I don’t do it. I meet with … read more »
Breaking the news to the kids
Are you the child of a divorce? If so, do you remember when you realized that your parents were separating? My guess is that you do. What do you remember about it? Do you remember what room you were in? Or what you heard? What did you feel? Who comforted you? What was said? Did your parents tell you, or did you overhear something? Was it in the context of an argument, or was it presented to you calmly? Did … read more »
Lawyers Make Things Worse!
“Lawyers make things worse!” I sometimes say to my clients. “They can take people who are this far apart,” I say with my hands about 4 inches away from each other, “and make them this far apart by the time they’re through!” continuing with my hands still facing each other but my arms stretched about 3 feet away. This may seem like blasphemy coming from a lawyer! And I mean no disrespect to my colleagues – but it’s part of … read more »
You Might Have more in Common with Bill and Melinda Than You Think…
Bill and Melinda Gates recently announced that they are divorcing after 27 years. Besides having to address their billions of dollars and their enormously influential foundation, this has brought attention to issues of a mature (or “gray”) divorce. Like many other couples, they waited until their youngest child is about to go off on her own. And they, like so many others, have to plan for a very different future. Divorcing later in life comes up more often than you … read more »
Like a deer in headlights?
Lisa sat in my office and cried silently for half an hour straight. I had invited Lisa and Steve to an introductory meeting to explain the divorce mediation process. He had just asked for the divorce, and she looked like a deer caught in the headlights. At the end of the meeting, she looked over at him and asked, “How did we get here?” Months later, when they actually started the process, her demeanor was very different. By then, Lisa … read more »
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