It’s been a busy week – I was on a panel at CUNY School of Law about Contemplative Lawyering and alternatives to litigating on Monday. On Wednesday I was a panel at Cardozo Law School about mediating with non-traditional families. And today I published an article on FamilyAffaires.com about why second parent adoptions are still needed even when the same-sex parents are married. They say that if you love what you do, it never feels like work. So true. I’m … read more »
Pete Seeger’s Legacy – And Pete Seeger’s Will
I just read an article in the NY Daily News about Pete Seeger’s will. While I am dismayed that they talk about the dollar value of his estate, I love that his instruments have names, and that the kids each got an instrument But Pete’s impact is not in his will. It is in his legacy. How he taught millions of people that they can feel community by singing together. How music brings us together, rich and poor, young and … read more »
Second Parent Adoptions are Still Necessary!
The NY Times’ Motherlode blog ran an article today about 2nd parent adoptions, and Judge Lopez Torres’ recent decision to deny a petition for such when the adoptive parents were married. Here is my comment (which they also published): I am an attorney who does second parent adoptions. I have completed and filed several such adoptions in New York State since Judge Lopez Torres’ decision was published – parallel courts recognize them as still being necessary. While Judge Lopez Torres’ … read more »
Suddenly wealthy?
Once I lived the life of a millionaire, spending my money, I didn’t care I carried my friends out for a good time, buying bootleg liquor, champagne and wine … by Ida Cox & B Feldman, sung by Bessie Smith According to the NY Times, thanks to the thriftiness of depression-era parents, baby boomers are more likely to inherit great sums of money than previous generations. Some know to expect it, others do not. What would you do if you … read more »
1 Step forward, 2 Steps back??
The Kings County (Brooklyn) Surrogate’s Court issued a strange decision today – it denied a second parent adoption where the lesbian couple was married and the non-bio mom’s name is on the birth certificate, saying adoption is “neither necessary nor available.” It seems to me that this denies the reality that same sex marriage is still banned in most states and in many countries, and refuses to protect the legal relationship between the child and the non-bio mother. Is this … read more »
A grieving process
Several years ago, I became a sudden widow. I came home to find that my husband had died of a heart attack. I was relatively young – in my early 40s, and we had many dreams of the future. The next year was a time of realizing, over and over, what I had lost, and I asked myself many questions: Who was I going to have inside jokes with? Who could I turn to now? How was I going to … read more »
Can a child have 3 parents?
We all know that a child can only have 2 biological parents – a man and a woman. But we also know that biology is only a small part of the story. Every child is connected to more adults – as they say, “it takes a village to raise a child.” Many children are actually being raised by more than 2 parents — step parents, grandparents, friends and partners can play an important role in the financial and emotional … read more »
Is That Prenup Really Fair?
Lee and Carolyn were in love. Carolyn loved Lee so much that she moved her children from Delaware to Long Island so they could be a family. After 8 years of dating, Lee finally proposed. Lee suggested a prenuptial agreement. Carolyn was so relieved that they were finally getting married, that she said, “I’ll sign any piece of paper you put in front of me and I won’t even read it.” And so he did. Lee gave her the agreement … read more »
DOMA and the States
There is no doubt that the Supreme Court’s recent decision regarding the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was historic, and will forever change the lives for millions of same-sex couples and their families. There are over 1,100 federal benefits now available to married same sex couples that were previously only available to married heterosexual couples. But DOMA is not entirely deceased. There were 2 parts to DOMA – the part that remains intact is the part that says that states … read more »
Remember to update your documents!
Many people prepare financial statements in the process of getting divorced. This is a good time to look at all of your accounts, and to update your beneficiaries. After all, you might not want your ex to receive an unexpected gain in several years because you never got around to it. Common accounts that have beneficiary designations include: Life Insurance Retirement and IRA accounts Some brokerage or savings accounts It is also a good time to update your estate planning … read more »