A few weeks ago, I wrote about the book, Dignity, by Donna Hicks. Today I am writing about another important book I’ve read recently, The Opposite of Hate: A Field Guide to Repairing Our Humanity, by Sally Kohn. Sally was my intern many years ago when she was in law school and she was funny, sometimes quirky, and wicked smart. She is a progressive lesbian feminist from Brooklyn, who is also a television commentator. She appeared often on Fox News, … read more »
New York’s Definition of Family Has Grown, Once Again
Some 18 months ago, I wrote about an important decision, Brooke S.B.1, by the New York Court of Appeals, which is the highest court in New York. (You can see that blog post here.) In Brooke, the Court determined that the non-biological mother in a same sex couple had standing to request custody or visitation of the child she helped to raise. The Brooke court found that it was in the child’s best interest to continue that relationship, and found … read more »
Why Do I Love What I Do?
Our families grow and change over our lifetimes. We transition from the family we were born into to the ones we create. We form different types of families by falling in love, by having babies, by adopting children, by divorcing, by being step-parents, by having (or being) God parents, or by treating extended family like our own. Our children grow up and leave, our parents may move in with us. As a result, the idea of the nuclear family is … read more »
Finally, A Better Definition of Family
New York’s highest court, the New York State Court of Appeals, made a long overdue and unquestionably important decision last month—that a de facto parent who is not a biological or adoptive parent has standing to petition for custody and visitation. This comes up in the context of same-sex relationships where one parent is related to the child biologically, where the parents have raised the children together but are not married. The issue is whether, if they break up, the … read more »
How History is Written
I just read a beautiful tribute to the late Hon. Judith Kaye (1938-2016), who was the much respected and beloved Chief Judge of the Court of Appeals of the State of New York. The tribute was written by Roberta Kaplan, Esq., who represented Edith Windsor in US vs Windsor, the landmark Supreme Court case that, overnight, extended equal rights of gay and lesbian Americans in unprecedented ways. Ms. Kaplan recently remembered Judge Kaye at a dinner for Le-Gal, the LGBT … read more »
Divorce — Many Separations
Divorce is a long process of transforming your family from one unit into two. There are actually several kinds of separation occurring during this process. The first stage is the emotional separation. One or both of you may feel detached, alone or disconnected – for some reason, the unit is no longer functioning the way you had hoped or expected that it would. The feeling of “living together alone” may be real at this point. Then there is the physical … read more »
Separating – but Not Too Far
I was recently quoted in the New York Times in an article about couples – particularly those with children – who continue to live near each other after they get divorced. While living near your ex is not for everyone, it can have its advantages. For instance, When the children forget something at the other parent’s home, it is no big deal to go get it. Parents don’t have to worry about pick up and drop offs. The children can go … read more »
Same Sex Married Couples Still Need Second Parent Adoptions
I have written about this before, and it is still true – same sex couples still need second parent adoptions even though they are legally married. New York’s Appellate Division Second Department made this clear their May 2015 decision, Matter of Paczkowski. The case is about a lesbian couple who was married and had a child together during the marriage. The non-biological mom had not adopted their child. The couple later broke up, and she filed for joint custody, arguing … read more »
Elder Mediation and Family Conversations
The New York Times ran an article about elder mediation and how it can be useful to adult siblings who are working together to take care of aging parents. Elder mediation can help sisters and brothers air out differences, understand each other,clarify their expectations, and approach each other with compassion so they can work together as a team. This is one of the services we offer. As it happens, I just published an article on FamilyAffaires.com describing elder mediation and … read more »
Busy week!
It’s been a busy week – I was on a panel at CUNY School of Law about Contemplative Lawyering and alternatives to litigating on Monday. On Wednesday I was a panel at Cardozo Law School about mediating with non-traditional families. And today I published an article on FamilyAffaires.com about why second parent adoptions are still needed even when the same-sex parents are married. They say that if you love what you do, it never feels like work. So true. I’m … read more »