After my beautiful, slow and plodding dog, Riley, died last summer, I had to come up with a new routine. No longer tied to our wonderful morning walk in the park, I wanted to try something new. Like those walks, it had to be contemplative and beautiful and put me in touch with nature. So almost every morning for the last year or so, I’ve been meditating for 15 minutes or so upon waking up, using the Headspace app on … read more »
Facing Your ‘Other’
When I mediate, I am sometimes struck by the fact that our lives can be profoundly affected by the actions of others. It can be frustrating to think about our lives being out of our control. I am happier when I focus on what we can control — particularly our own thoughts, our attitudes, and our actions. Of course, change is difficult, but certainly possible. I have used my thoughts and actions at critical points to change the course … read more »
The Power of Dignity
A few months ago, I had the pleasure of giving a Continuing Legal Education presentation on the Dignity Model with attorney-mediator colleagues Teresa Calabrese and Andrea Hirshman. Here is a clip from it, where I am talking about the concept that we ALWAYS have dignity — no one can take it away, no matter how badly they treat us. It is an important part of negotiation— you have to honor your own self-worth before you can honor that in others. … read more »
R-E-S-P-E-C-T — Find Out What it Means to Me!
I write this just days after the death of the infamous Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin. Hers was the voice of a generation — my generation — but she meant so much more. While it is difficult to imagine a world without her, I am grateful for her music, which will live on. From my perspective, Aretha’s most influential song was “Respect,” written by Otis Redding. As Wesley Morris wrote in her obituary, she turned the song — and the … read more »
Keep Your Enemies Closer
A few weeks ago, I wrote about the book, Dignity, by Donna Hicks. Today I am writing about another important book I’ve read recently, The Opposite of Hate: A Field Guide to Repairing Our Humanity, by Sally Kohn. Sally was my intern many years ago when she was in law school and she was funny, sometimes quirky, and wicked smart. She is a progressive lesbian feminist from Brooklyn, who is also a television commentator. She appeared often on Fox News, … read more »
Dignity
I am currently re-reading a book called Dignity: Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict, which I found to be almost life-changing, by Donna Hicks, PhD. I had the wonderful opportunity to study with Dr. Hicks at Harvard Divinity School in January, and heard her again recently when she was speaking in New York City for ODN New York and Latino Justice. Anne Gibbons did a graphic map as Donna was speaking, a photo which accompanies this blog post. She did … read more »
Ripples
I know someone who knew a teenager who was gunned down at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida last week. I know someone who knew a reverend who was gunned down at Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina. I know someone who knew a small child who was gunned down at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. Anyone can feel a Mother’s / Father’s / Sister’s / Brother’s / Nana’s /Auntie’s Life Shattered into … read more »
Songs to Get Through Hard Times
It’s the end of the year, and oh what a year it’s been! OMG, as the kids would say, how did we live through it? I thought it would be good to close it out with a list of a few of the songs that I love to listen to when I’m going through stuff… Positivity – Stevie Wonder featuring Aisha Morris Shelter in the Rain – Stevie Wonder We are Family – Sister Sledge Family Affair – Mary J. … read more »
Who Are You?
Imagine that you knew that you were going to die in a month. Not from sickness, not from some terrible accident that you have to dread. All you know is that in 30 days, you’ll peacefully take in your last breath.* What would you do with the time you had left? Would you call friends? Would you retire? Would you want to see your family? Are there places in the world you’ve longed to see? What are the things that … read more »
Divorce Envy ~ Who knew?
I’m honored and excited that I was quoted in Amy Sohn’s Harper’s Bazaar’s article about Divorce Envy. It really is an honor. And an interesting topic. We feel the need to keep up with the Joneses to get the latest handbag, to do hot yoga and eat kale, why not to get divorced in the most healing way possible? As I said, if it leads to a trend of collaborative process and divorce mediation, maybe peer pressure is a very … read more »