There is no doubt that the Supreme Court’s recent decision regarding the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was historic, and will forever change the lives for millions of same-sex couples and their families. There are over 1,100 federal benefits now available to married same sex couples that were previously only available to married heterosexual couples. But DOMA is not entirely deceased. There were 2 parts to DOMA – the part that remains intact is the part that says that states … read more »
The Dreaded Pre-nup
Lately, I have had a few clients who have come to me asking for a prenuptial agreement because their parents insisted that they have one. Prenups used to be thought of only for the rich and famous. But they are becoming much more common, and are losing some of their stigma. When should you consider having a pre-nup? Here are some common examples when a pre-nup can be helpful. If: You are part of a family business, and you want … read more »
Remember to update your documents!
Many people prepare financial statements in the process of getting divorced. This is a good time to look at all of your accounts, and to update your beneficiaries. After all, you might not want your ex to receive an unexpected gain in several years because you never got around to it. Common accounts that have beneficiary designations include: Life Insurance Retirement and IRA accounts Some brokerage or savings accounts It is also a good time to update your estate planning … read more »
We’re quoted in Smart Money!
Well, this doesn’t happen every day! We’re quoted in Smart Money – a national magazine published by the Wall Street Journal. I had quite a long talk with the reporter, Glenn Ruffenbach. He just used one idea from our discussion, but it is an important one – that disputes between siblings is a bit different because they don’t often have the opportunity (or the experience) to work on problem-solving together. While other articles have focused on what elder mediation is, … read more »
Overlooking the Sea
I have spent the last week alone with my parents in their summer home in Cape Cod. It is hard to get around without driving here, and my brother and I decided that it would be better if one of us was here to do most of the driving. And so I packed up my office (thank you, Dropbox!), brought my laptop, ordered some books, and prepared to be here for 2 weeks straight – something I haven’t done since … read more »
Parenting Schedules – Equal Time with Each Parent
While parents may agree to share parenting time 50/50, there are a myriad ways to structure the schedule to meet your and your children’s needs. Younger children need shorter but more frequent time with each parent (switching, for instance, every 2-3 days), while it may be easier for older children to change less often, perhaps spending a week with each parent. Having a predictable and structured schedule helps everyone manage their expectations, but it is also a good idea to … read more »
In the News
Three articles have caught my eye this week, because I provide all 3 services. This is why I love my varied practice — all geared toward helping families through their many transiations! The New York Law Journal published an article (in which I am featured!) by colleagues Ellie Wertheim and Abby Tolchinsky entitled Elder Mediation Addresses Range of Family Decisions, explaining that often, mediation can address important issues that the law cannot. The New York Times article, If ‘Forever’ Doesn’t … read more »
Children’s Bill of Rights in Divorce
There are several versions of the Children’s Bill of Rights in divorce that you can find on the internet. They are all helpful in focusing parents’ attention on the experience that their children might have – something that can get lost when parents are wrapped up in difficult emotions. The one I like best is offered by Dr. Robert Emery, an expert on children’s experience of divorce. He has done extensive research on divorce mediation. Here it is: Every child … read more »
NYS Same Sex Marriage – It’s Complicated!
Today I led a workshop for the Family & Divorce Mediation Council (of Greater NY) with fellow Board members Teresa Calabrese, Katie Cole and Mark Josephson on what the new law permitting same-sex marriage means in NY. On one hand, it is a huge victory and an important step in creating civil rights for LGBT couples. On the other hand, it is a legal tangle. As of this writing, only 6 states (plus DC) issue marriage licenses to same sex … read more »
Will the law catch up?
The papers have been rife with stories this week about New York’s new law allowing same-sex marriage. It couldn’t have come at a more poignant time – 2 days before Gay Pride day. People have described the mood there as unadulterated joy – one friend even told me, “I haven’t experienced anything like that since the March on Washington” — meaning the 1963 march in which Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his “I Have a Dream” speech. It is … read more »
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