The Voyager 2 space probe left earth 49 years ago – on August 20, 1977. It’s twin sister, Voyager 1, left just a few weeks later, on September 5. They were built to last only 5 years – long enough to observe Jupiter and Saturn and their rings, but went on to observe Uranus and Neptune and to transmit information back to earth. Our understandings of these outer planets – and of the solar system – have been forever changed … read more »
A Guest in Their House
When I was a kid, a South African friend of my parents’ gave me a book of photos of wild animals. I loved that book and carried it around with me everywhere. I studied the pictures, imagining what it was like to see them up close, in their natural habitats. ‘Someday,’ I thought. ‘I’ll go there to see them.’ I had no idea that day would ever happen. Well, that day came at the end of May. Our South African … read more »
Defying the Web of Expectations: A Reflection on Love and Loss
I used to love spring without reservation—warm days, soft rains, and new flowers appearing every week. But the season is more complicated for me now. I am writing this on June 26, the anniversary of my marriage to Darryl Alladice in 2004. Darryl, who grew up in Harlem and Crown Heights, was a poet and a public school teacher. We were married on a hot day in the living room of our Brooklyn apartment. As I walked down our short … read more »
Forgiving But Not Forgetting
I recently returned from a bucket-list trip to South Africa. There is much I hope to write about, but one experience stands above the rest: visiting Robben Island. Robben Island, about five miles off the coast of Cape Town, served as South Africa’s maximum-security prison from the mid-1960s until 1991. Most of the inmates were political prisoners who had been arrested for opposing Apartheid. Nelson Mandela was sentenced to life imprisonment in 1964 and remained on Robben Island until … read more »
How to Have a Difficult Conversation
Have you ever wanted to say something to a close friend but were a little scared to bring it up? Maybe it was a response to something they said that hurt you, or an observation, or a deep secret…. We have so many reasons for avoiding difficult conversations. We may want to avoid a conflict or feel too vulnerable. I was interested in Jancee Dunn’s recent article in the New York Times’s Well newsletter, called “How To Have a Difficult … read more »
Making a Parenting Plan with Special Needs Children
This week, I gave a presentation to the National Association of Divorce Professionals Special Needs Chapter on the advantages of using mediation for parents of children with special needs. The biggest takeaway is that mediation can help parents create a nuanced parenting plan tailored to the specific needs of everyone in their family, whereas the litigation process may be much more rigid and limited. Parents know their children’s needs better than any lawyers or a judge ever could. So they … read more »
The Ten Duel Commandments
I went to see Hamilton on Broadway this week, and I was so glad I finally did. What an extraordinary production. I’ve always loved historical fiction, and it makes the founders of this country feel immediate and alive. But seeing it now, at a moment when the basic foundations of this country feel as if they are being steadily dismantled, gave it an entirely different weight. Hamilton is a story about power, about ambition, about legacy, and about the ideas … read more »
Have you ever thought about mediating?
First, I want to thank you for your well wishes for my Mom’s 100th birthday. We got a tremendous response, and it was hard to respond to everyone individually, but I read them all and read many to her. She and I were both thrilled. What a great way to start the spring. And it made me feel very lucky to have been born to two extraordinary parents. (My dad was quite awesome, too!). And now, back to our email… … read more »
My incredible Mom!
My mother, Esther Edelman Rowland, turned 100 last weekend, and we’ve had a series of parties to celebrate. I wanted to let you know a little bit about her. Growing up during the Great Depression and the time of the Spanish Civil War, she developed a political awareness and a commitment to equality and social justice. She attended City College, the University of Wisconsin, and received her Master’s Degree in Political Science from Columbia University. She met my father, Lewis … read more »
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Find out what it means to me
My life philosophy is: It isn’t what we are born into, but what we do with our lives that counts. After all, we had no say about whether our parents were rich or poor, educated or not, had more or less status. We cannot control the circumstances of our birth. We are all given gifts and challenges – not all equal, of course. But it is what we do with those gifts and challenges that says everything about who we … read more »
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