Last night the NYS Senate approved our marriage equality bill, allowing same-sex couples to marry. This is historically significant in several respects: New York is the largest state to legalize same-sex marriage. New York is only the 6th state in the US to legalize same-sex marriage. This more than doubles the number of same-sex couples who can marry in their home state. Marriage has numerous benefits to families. The vote was largely the result of advocacy groups working overlooking their … read more »
More changing families!
In my last post (this morning), I wrote about 3 articles in today’s Sunday New York Times about interesting family configurations or trends. Well, obviously I hadn’t read the whole paper! A Father’s Day Plea to Sperm Donors is by a young man who would like, on this Father’s Day, to know who his father is; My Ex-Gay Friend explores the life of a young man who was comfortable being out, and then went back in; Living the Good Lie … read more »
Today’s Families
There are several articles in today’s NYTimes that reflect a change in today’s families, on this Father’s Day, 2011: A front page article about President Obama’s evolving views of gay marriage. Baby Makes 4, And Complications – A long and very personal portrait of a Park Slope mother, child, sperm donor/father and his partner. How Divorce Lost Its Groove, about the attitudes young people have toward divorce, and how they are trying to make it gentler on their kids — … read more »
Jazz and Mediation
A few months ago I printed a wonderful quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. about the contributions that jazz makes to humanity. That touched me, particularly coming from a minister, because there are some who have said that jazz is antithetical to religion. I have been listening to jazz since I was a teenager, and have been trying my hand at it (on the flute and on the piano) for a few years. Still amateur, for sure, but trying. … read more »
Gay couples and immigration
We all know that an immigrant who marries a US Citizen can get Legal Permanent Resident status, commonly known as a green card.– But what if the spouses are the same sex? Same sex marriage is legally recognized in a few states, yet not by the federal government. Congress passed the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) during the Clinton years specifically stating that they will only recognize marriage between a man and a woman. This puts same-sex married couples in … read more »
Elder Mediation hits the Press !
The Wall Street Journal published a terrific article yesterday, Family Value: A Referee for Family Disputes, about the value of elder mediation, and its value to families facing tough decisions around care-giving and inheritance. This is just the latest in several major newspapers to cover it. It’s exciting to be one of the forerunners of this new and growing field! I recommend a few: Eldercare Mediators help resolve Feuds, Washington Post, Dec 14, 2010 When the Family Needs an … read more »
Mediate! Don’t litigate!
I was coming out of the subway the other day by NYC’s City Hall, and found myself in the middle of a demonstration. A bunch of young people, all dressed in pea coats and fisherman’s knit scarves and hats held were chanting, “Don’t go to court – mediate!” and “Mediate – don’t litigate!” I was quickly given a handbill for the new TV series, Fairly Legal, which premiered last night. The “demonstrators” were actually paid by a marketing firm… While … read more »
Humanity and the Importance of Jazz
Opening speech at the 1964 Berlin Jazz Festival, by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. “God has brought many things out of oppression. He has endowed his creatures with the capacity to create – and from this capacity has flowed the sweet songs of sorrow and joy that have allowed man to cope with his environment and many different situations. Jazz speaks for life. The Blues tell the story of life’s difficulties, and if you think for a moment, you will realize that they take … read more »
What Makes a Good Marriage? II
Last week I started to blog about an article I read recently in the New York Times, “The Happy Marriage is the ‘Me’ Marriage,” by Tara Parker-Pope. She cites researchers who have looked at the question of what makes a marriage. A Dutch researcher, Caryl Rusbult, found that it was the “Michaelangelo effect,” – partners ‘sculpt’ each other to help them each achieve their goals. US professors, Arthur Aron and Gary Lewandowski, Jr. refer to the concept of ‘self-expansion” – … read more »
What Makes a Good Marriage
I just finished reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book, Committed, which is a modern look at marriage. (You know her as the author of Eat, Pray, Love). She has an interesting take on it, in part because she has an international perspective. And she delightfully weaves her personal story with more global views, much of which come from Stephanie Coontz‘ more scholarly research. Marriage for love is a relatively new phenomenon – in the past it was much more about property … read more »
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