Divorce is a long process of transforming your family from one unit into two. There are actually several kinds of separation occurring during this process. The first stage is the emotional separation. One or both of you may feel detached, alone or disconnected – for some reason, the unit is no longer functioning the way you had hoped or expected that it would. The feeling of “living together alone” may be real at this point. Then there is the physical … read more »
Separating – but Not Too Far
I was recently quoted in the New York Times in an article about couples – particularly those with children – who continue to live near each other after they get divorced. While living near your ex is not for everyone, it can have its advantages. For instance, When the children forget something at the other parent’s home, it is no big deal to go get it. Parents don’t have to worry about pick up and drop offs. The children can go … read more »
$$ and Divorce
Just published an article in Family Affaires to help you think about your money during divorce. Money can be a big stressor in a marriage, and is often one of the greatest sources of anxiety during a divorce, whether you are mediating, litigating or doing a collaborative process. These tips can help you get a handle on them so you know what you are working with! Here’s to a productive and fruitful 2016!
New NYS Spousal Support Bill
Last week, Governor Cuomo signed a bill that will soon overhaul the way spousal support is established for divorcing couples in New York State. The portions of the bill that deal with temporary spousal support will take effect on October 25, 2015, and the rest will take effect on January 23, 2016. This law establishes a standard for how permanent spousal maintenance is determined – before, maintenance was purely up to a judge’s discretion, and awards were inconsistent. A 2010 … read more »
Dividing Up the Property
One of the biggest decisions that needs to be made in a divorce is how you will divide up your assets. Here is a link to an article I wrote recently about this topic, entitled “Equitable Distribution 101.” This might be helpful whether you are using mediation, collaborative process, or using traditional lawyers.
Divorce Envy ~ Who knew?
I’m honored and excited that I was quoted in Amy Sohn’s Harper’s Bazaar’s article about Divorce Envy. It really is an honor. And an interesting topic. We feel the need to keep up with the Joneses to get the latest handbag, to do hot yoga and eat kale, why not to get divorced in the most healing way possible? As I said, if it leads to a trend of collaborative process and divorce mediation, maybe peer pressure is a very … read more »
A grieving process
Several years ago, I became a sudden widow. I came home to find that my husband had died of a heart attack. I was relatively young – in my early 40s, and we had many dreams of the future. The next year was a time of realizing, over and over, what I had lost, and I asked myself many questions: Who was I going to have inside jokes with? Who could I turn to now? How was I going to … read more »
Can a child have 3 parents?
We all know that a child can only have 2 biological parents – a man and a woman. But we also know that biology is only a small part of the story. Every child is connected to more adults – as they say, “it takes a village to raise a child.” Many children are actually being raised by more than 2 parents — step parents, grandparents, friends and partners can play an important role in the financial and emotional … read more »
Is That Prenup Really Fair?
Lee and Carolyn were in love. Carolyn loved Lee so much that she moved her children from Delaware to Long Island so they could be a family. After 8 years of dating, Lee finally proposed. Lee suggested a prenuptial agreement. Carolyn was so relieved that they were finally getting married, that she said, “I’ll sign any piece of paper you put in front of me and I won’t even read it.” And so he did. Lee gave her the agreement … read more »
Remember to update your documents!
Many people prepare financial statements in the process of getting divorced. This is a good time to look at all of your accounts, and to update your beneficiaries. After all, you might not want your ex to receive an unexpected gain in several years because you never got around to it. Common accounts that have beneficiary designations include: Life Insurance Retirement and IRA accounts Some brokerage or savings accounts It is also a good time to update your estate planning … read more »