I’m usually very self-protective about what electronic media I consume, but lately, I’ve been checking the news on the radio and on my phone. I talk with my friends about the election and have noticed that my anxiety levels are going up. As the election gets closer, it seems that we are all a little more on edge. The stakes are so high, and the polls are so close. I talk to clients who are about to tell their spouses … read more »

Have you ever tried to tell a friend about something difficult and they responded by wanting to fix it for you? You know that they mean well, but it’s just not what you are looking for. Instead of feeling more connected and feeling better understood, you may actually feel more alone. “I don’t want you to fix it!” you might say. “I just want you to listen to me!” I wanted to share a wonderful (and short) video by author … read more »

I usually keep my music life and mediation life separate, but I hope you’ll indulge me by letting me meld them in today’s post. My first husband, Dr. Makanda Ken McIntyre, was a brilliant instrumentalist, composer, and professor. He played about 17 instruments – mostly woodwinds – and performed on flute, alto saxophone, bass clarinet, oboe, and bassoon. Makanda composed all kinds of “Music in the African American Tradition,” as he called it, including calypsos, ballads, avant-garde pieces, and traditional … read more »

I try to keep this post focused on issues of family law and conflict resolution (as well as some personal reflection), but today I’m going a little bit off-script. Project 2025, that 900-page document published by the Heritage Foundation, lays out the blueprint for the Trump agenda, and threatens all of us – but particularly many of the families that my practice serves – women, queer folks, independent thinkers, folks who stand up for what they believe in. It threatens … read more »

I hope you had a good summer! Congratulations to your parents for getting through another summer and another first day of school. Each new school year is a milestone, reminding you that your kids are getting older, while you’re staying the same age. Funny how that happens! (smile). I’ve been musing, with Kamala’s meteoric rise, about how profoundly and permanently things can change in an instant — Sometimes bringing hope and joy back! This is true in politics and world … read more »

Now and then I like to look at how divorce is treated in popular culture – so this week, I watched Tyler Perry’s new film, Divorce in the Black, on Amazon Prime. I generally think of Tyler Perry as being brilliant, pointed, and hilarious – but this film was none of those things. The title is a riff on being ‘in the black’ as opposed to being ‘in the red,’ which I took to mean that divorce could be a … read more »

Today I am thinking about when to be neutral and when to take a stand. My career as a divorce mediator depends on my ability to embrace the concept of both/and – that is, to really try to understand where each person is coming from and why they feel the way they do. I also value diversity inclusivity and an open dialog. I believe strongly in the dignity of every human being. These are core values for me, and I … read more »

We all know that June 19th is celebrated as Juneteenth in the United States, but you might not know that it has also been designated as World Sickle Cell Awareness Day by the United Nations and the World Health Organization. Sickle Cell affects people from many different parts of the globe, but in the US, most people who have it come from African ancestry. This has led to disparities in the amount of funding available for research and in treatment … read more »

On May 30, 2013, my left kidney was miraculously transplanted from my body to Darryl’s. Darryl and I were married, and he lived another 7 years. During that time, he taught middle and high school students. He wrote scores of poems and read them out loud. He got to see his daughter launch her career. We had great parties. We started a nonprofit, One Breath Rising, to present poetry and jazz performances. All of this may not have happened if … read more »

I’ve spent a good part of my free time this week listening to and reading a book that just came out, The Jazz Men: How Duke Ellington, Louis Armstrong and Count Basie Transformed America by Larry Tye. I have had the honor of being the Trustee of the William J. (“Count”) Basie Trust, for the last 11 years or so, and I was the guardian for his late daughter, Diane Basie until her death in 2022. I’ve met many interesting … read more »