So many of us grew up believing in the American Dream — that this is the land of opportunity where, if we work hard, we can feed our families and create a better life for our children. The playing field has never been even, but we still depend on it to basically be true. That’s why we send our kids to college, that’s why immigrants come to the U.S. But that dream has been deeply challenged for some people for many years, and for many people in recent years.
My work with couples in Manhattan and Brooklyn offers just a small window — it’s no scientific study — but I can’t help noticing how much more financial insecurity people seem to face now than just a few years ago. I’m talking about middle-class families where both parents are well-educated and work full-time. They struggle with back taxes, credit card debt, and sometimes even rent. It’s hard enough to support one household in New York City — nearly impossible to support two.
In divorce mediation, we talk about dividing assets, but lately, I spend more time talking about dividing debt. As a few billionaires grow richer, the rest of us are working harder just to make ends meet.
Last year, I joined the Rockland Pride Center Chorus. At our Fall Concert in Nyack last night, I introduced the song, Which Side Are You On? I reminded the audience that hard times in this country are nothing new — and that when people work together, they can make a difference.
The song’s history goes back to 1931, when the Duke Power Company owned not only the coal mines in Harlan County, Kentucky. In company towns, the employer not only owned the mines but also the miners’ homes and the company store where they bought their food. Inflation was high, and workers constantly owed more than they earned. On top of that, the work was dangerous, and many miners were getting black lung disease from inhaling coal dust.
When the company announced a 10% pay cut to boost profits, the miners went on strike for better wages and safer conditions — setting off a years-long, often violent struggle. Sheriff J.H. Blair, on the company payroll, was sent to hunt down Sam Reece, a union organizer. Blair and his men illegally entered Reece’s home. Reece escaped, but his wife and seven children were terrorized. The next day, his wife, Florence Reece, wrote Which Side Are You On? This has become an anthem for nonviolent struggles everywhere. It has since been popularized by Pete Seeger, Natalie Merchant, Ani DiFranco, and countless others, and adapted for movements across generations.
Chorus members added new verses to reflect today’s realities — I wrote the second verse.
They split us down imagined lines
Made us each other’s foe
But I know that our struggles link
The stronger we will grow
Which side are you on, boys, which side are you on?
Which side are you on, boys, which side are you on?
Though tyrants steal democracy
Yet we are not afraid
We speak our truth to power
Together we are brave.
Which side are you on, boys, which side are you on?
Which side are you on, boys, which side are you on?
We know in Rockland County,
Trans folks sparkle every day
All genders play all kinds of sports,
Let trans children play
Which side are you on, boys, which side are you on?
Which side are you on, boys, which side are you on?
But when our song is over
And night then turns to day
Our voices always echo
Our purpose always stays.
Which side are you on, boys, which side are you on?
Which side are you on, boys, which side are you on?