Costco just announced that it will start selling Ozempic and Wegovy, two of the wonder drugs of our era, at half the cost of other pharmacies. The drugs treat obesity quickly and dramatically. I have friends taking the meds whose whole bodies have transformed – they’ve lost 50 pounds or more. They feel great about themselves after trying everything else they could – finally, something is working. They move in the world with confidence, do athletics they never thought they could, and say they’ll never go back. They also say that strangers are kinder to them and treat them with more respect. But the drugs have their side effects, like nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, and … divorce???
This week, the New York Times’ podcast, The Daily, ran a show called Marriage and Sex in the Age of Ozempic. It featured journalist Lisa Miller, who had a story in the New York Times Magazine in February called “How Weight-Loss Drugs Can Upend a Marriage.”
Ms Miller focuses on a couple, Jeanne and Javier, and the effects of Jeanne’s dramatic weight loss – 60 pounds in 8 months – on their relationship and their marriage. Jeanne and Javier were high school sweethearts, and have been married for several years and have a child together. The weight loss, Jeanne says, was “life-changing” and “miraculous.” And it helped her gain more self-esteem and set boundaries. She felt that the way she adapted to being fat was to be extroverted to be more pleasing. Once she lost the weight, she didn’t need to be so agreeable.
The couple shared a whole social life based on eating out, partying with friends, and enjoying good wine. They had a wine fridge with 200 bottles in it, and now Jeanne stopped drinking altogether. She didn’t want to party with their friends until the wee hours of the morning anymore. And perhaps most dramatically, she didn’t want Javier to touch her.
Javier was left missing Jeanne’s old body, missing their physical closeness. He missed the things they used to do together. He doesn’t know how to be supportive anymore. The things that he did that worked before don’t work anymore. So many of their connections were now broken. They fight often and easily – and they are struggling to stay connected.
It makes sense to me that when one person in a couple has a profound change in identity, or a life-changing event, that the couple has to find a new balance – they have to get their sea legs back after a storm, even a good one.
I hope that the New York Times will also feature a couple who can weather Ozempic. I’m sure some couples can recalibrate and find a new equilibrium in their relationship.
Weight loss drugs have so many benefits, physically and emotionally. But this seems like an unexpected possible side effect that might require some work to overcome.