Illustration by Brian Rea and the NY Times
Several years ago, I was doing a will for a client whose wife had Alzheimer’s Disease. She didn’t recognize him anymore, yet, he was committed to caring for her at home. He ensured she had the round-the-clock nursing care she needed, allowing him to go out during the day. We talked about the documents he would need and his legacy. At the end of the meeting, I got up from the conference table to see him out. He continued to sit. I sat back down. I could tell that he still had something to tell me.
“Joy,” he said, quietly. “I haven’t told anyone this. But I have a girlfriend.”
“Good for you!” I said loudly. “I’m so glad!” I meant what I said, and wanted to let him know that I was happy for him. I remember thinking, “I hope she loves you as much as you love your wife.” I don’t remember if I said the actual words to him. I hope I did. I hope he can allow himself to live his life out loud.
I thought of him this week when I listened to a New York Times interview with Townsend Davis, whose article, “Thanksgiving With My Wife and Girlfriend,” was featured in Modern Love a few months ago.
Families come in so many different configurations. Love is simple and complicated at the same time.
I hope your Thanksgiving is filled with love – whether that love is simple or complicated or both.