Who are you? I mean, who are you really? Who’s in your community? Who are your people? Do your friendship circles overlap or are they wildly different? Do they reflect all of the different parts of you?
At the Center for Understanding in Conflict Teacher Training that I went to a few weeks ago, we did an exercise where they asked us to make a diagram of our identity circles. Here’s one I created:
But then they asked us to make one of how we think others see us. Here’s what I created for that:
I was really struck by the difference between the way I see myself and the way I assume others see me. They only see a tiny fraction of who I am – and the things that other people see are not necessarily the things that matter to me!
When we are getting to know someone, how do we get from the outside to the inside? How do we let others in to know us on the inside?
So I have a few questions for you this week –
1. Make a diagram of all of your identities. What’s in each of your bubble circles? What would be front and center and what would be less important? (Remember, you don’t have to show it to anyone!)
2. Then make a diagram of how you think others see you.
3. Then think about the difference. What do you want people to know about you that isn’t obvious? How can you show them?
4. Finally, think about what might lie beneath the surface with your closest friends or family. What don’t you know about them? How could you know? What questions would you ask?
We have so many different identities. We are deeply complex. And we all want to be seen and to be heard!