Many people prepare financial statements in the process of getting divorced. This is a good time to look at all of your accounts, and to update your beneficiaries. After all, you might not want your ex to receive an unexpected gain in several years because you never got around to it. Common accounts that have beneficiary designations include: Life Insurance Retirement and IRA accounts Some brokerage or savings accounts It is also a good time to update your estate planning … read more »
We’re quoted in Smart Money!
Well, this doesn’t happen every day! We’re quoted in Smart Money – a national magazine published by the Wall Street Journal. I had quite a long talk with the reporter, Glenn Ruffenbach. He just used one idea from our discussion, but it is an important one – that disputes between siblings is a bit different because they don’t often have the opportunity (or the experience) to work on problem-solving together. While other articles have focused on what elder mediation is, … read more »
Overlooking the Sea
I have spent the last week alone with my parents in their summer home in Cape Cod. It is hard to get around without driving here, and my brother and I decided that it would be better if one of us was here to do most of the driving. And so I packed up my office (thank you, Dropbox!), brought my laptop, ordered some books, and prepared to be here for 2 weeks straight – something I haven’t done since … read more »
In the News
Three articles have caught my eye this week, because I provide all 3 services. This is why I love my varied practice — all geared toward helping families through their many transiations! The New York Law Journal published an article (in which I am featured!) by colleagues Ellie Wertheim and Abby Tolchinsky entitled Elder Mediation Addresses Range of Family Decisions, explaining that often, mediation can address important issues that the law cannot. The New York Times article, If ‘Forever’ Doesn’t … read more »
Will the law catch up?
The papers have been rife with stories this week about New York’s new law allowing same-sex marriage. It couldn’t have come at a more poignant time – 2 days before Gay Pride day. People have described the mood there as unadulterated joy – one friend even told me, “I haven’t experienced anything like that since the March on Washington” — meaning the 1963 march in which Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave his “I Have a Dream” speech. It is … read more »
Marriage Equality in New York State!
Last night the NYS Senate approved our marriage equality bill, allowing same-sex couples to marry. This is historically significant in several respects: New York is the largest state to legalize same-sex marriage. New York is only the 6th state in the US to legalize same-sex marriage. This more than doubles the number of same-sex couples who can marry in their home state. Marriage has numerous benefits to families. The vote was largely the result of advocacy groups working overlooking their … read more »
Today’s Families
There are several articles in today’s NYTimes that reflect a change in today’s families, on this Father’s Day, 2011: A front page article about President Obama’s evolving views of gay marriage. Baby Makes 4, And Complications – A long and very personal portrait of a Park Slope mother, child, sperm donor/father and his partner. How Divorce Lost Its Groove, about the attitudes young people have toward divorce, and how they are trying to make it gentler on their kids — … read more »
Gay couples and immigration
We all know that an immigrant who marries a US Citizen can get Legal Permanent Resident status, commonly known as a green card.– But what if the spouses are the same sex? Same sex marriage is legally recognized in a few states, yet not by the federal government. Congress passed the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) during the Clinton years specifically stating that they will only recognize marriage between a man and a woman. This puts same-sex married couples in … read more »
Elder Mediation hits the Press !
The Wall Street Journal published a terrific article yesterday, Family Value: A Referee for Family Disputes, about the value of elder mediation, and its value to families facing tough decisions around care-giving and inheritance. This is just the latest in several major newspapers to cover it. It’s exciting to be one of the forerunners of this new and growing field! I recommend a few: Eldercare Mediators help resolve Feuds, Washington Post, Dec 14, 2010 When the Family Needs an … read more »
What Makes a Good Marriage? II
Last week I started to blog about an article I read recently in the New York Times, “The Happy Marriage is the ‘Me’ Marriage,” by Tara Parker-Pope. She cites researchers who have looked at the question of what makes a marriage. A Dutch researcher, Caryl Rusbult, found that it was the “Michaelangelo effect,” – partners ‘sculpt’ each other to help them each achieve their goals. US professors, Arthur Aron and Gary Lewandowski, Jr. refer to the concept of ‘self-expansion” – … read more »