I was honored to be on the podcast, Women Winning Divorce with Heather Quick, Esq. This episode (#143) is “How to Take Control of Your Divorce and Time-Sharing with Mediation for Less Stress and Greater Empowerment.”
I had a lovely conversation with Heather, a divorce litigator in Florida, about how mediation is particularly helpful to women. Here are the highlights:
- You are the experts on your family – you know the strengths weaknesses and needs of everyone in the family. A judge won’t know that.
- Mediation is an opportunity to find your voice and express yourself with the mediator’s support. You are speaking directly to each other, not through lawyers.
- You have more time to share your perspective than you would in court.
- Participants in mediation are more invested in the outcome (because they’ve been the ones to make decisions), which leads to better compliance.
- Mediation is not focused on blame.
- Mediation saves money which keeps it in the family.
- You can acknowledge what your ex-spouse is saying without agreeing with them.
- Mediation provides a model for solving problems together.
- Mediation can be less stressful for the parents and the children.
- It is helpful to find a good support system OUTSIDE of the mediation meetings. That will help be more productive IN the meetings.
- It is helpful to have a mindset of wanting the best outcome for the family rather than one of winning or being right.
- It is helpful to remember that kids can have a great childhood while living in 2 homes.
- Mediation may not work if there is a severe power imbalance if either party doesn’t have (and can’t get) the information they need to make informed decisions.
- Mediation requires that each person be honest about their finances. They must trust that their ex-spouse is being honest about their finances, also.
Women are often stronger than they are given credit for. They are often terrific at starting over again and making a beautiful situation out of something very difficult. Mediation can help!